


Just In Time

by SusieBeeca



Series: Amor Vincit Omnia [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Disability, F/F, Slavery, mention of rape, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 12:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11646654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SusieBeeca/pseuds/SusieBeeca
Summary: Many years ago, Padparadscha is forced to look into the future... and she doesn't like what she sees.(Although part of a series about how Gems feel love, this story is a stand-alone; you don't need to read the others to understand this one. :D)





	Just In Time

I stick my hand out just in time to catch hers. I knew she’d be shaking, but I didn’t realize how badly until the bowl nearly clattered to the floor.

“I-I’m sorry, your Clarity,” she stammers as she holds it against her chest, trying to steady herself. Her voice has gone all tight and stringy, as if she’s choking something back.

“Don’t cry,” I murmur. My fingers graze her knuckles, and I gently pull her wrists closer to me. Three.. two... one. Ah! There’s the first hot tear splashing over my knuckles. “No one will figure out it’s just carbon dust.”

She startles, and I can’t help but grin. She looks down at the wet ashes in the polished bowl, then back up at me. “It’s not---?”

“Nacre? Oh, stars, no. I wouldn’t want you touching that.” I give her nose an affectionate tweak, and she giggles, just as she always does. It’s nice, sometimes, to know what someone’s about to do based on past habits, not future actions. I lift my bangs from my face, but not before closing my eye. “Now, please, Pearl... do what you must.”

She’s even quieter than normal. Her “Thank you” is barely audible, but when she flickers her fingers over my face, most of her earlier tremor is gone. With her thumb, she smears a dark streak of dirt under my eye, and then traces a line down my eyelid. It’s been quite awhile since I’ve had to do this, and it still unnerves me; even though the ‘erasing’ of my vision is strictly symbolic, I find the whole ritual rather gruesome. If only we didn't have to d...

Then, suddenly, she touches my hand, right on the setting of my gem. I jerk it away with a gasp.

“I’m sorry, your Clarity,” she says as she puts her hand back on her knee. “Should I not have---?”

“I’ll do it _myself,_ thank you!” 

Oh, dear... I said it more curtly than intended. When she touched my gem, an emotion hit me with all the discomfort of an electric jolt. That little white-hot spike inside me... it takes a moment or two to recognize it as surprise. I should have seen that coming. I don’t want her upset, so I decide to mellow my snapped-out words: “You’ve done a wonderful job, but I’d prefer to do this myself.”

I’m happy to see that she’s relaxed a bit, but I’m not sure I like how carefully she’s watching me as I dirty my gem with the soot. “I’m sorry to question you, but are you sure... um... about...?”

That halting question would have seemed insulting to any other Sapphire. But, of course, I’m not just any Sapphire, am I? “Yes. I’m afraid she’s already dead.” I hate this. I hate knowing what’s coming in times like these. “I have an appointment in a few minutes and I’d like to show my mourning.” I dip my fingers into the mixture. “Would you like me to return the fav...”

Our hands touch in the basin, and I blush. 

“Clever little Pearl! Always a step ahead of me,” I say with a smile. “Am I getting predictable in my old age?”

“Old? _My_ mistress? With all due respect, your Clarity, you still blush like a newborn when you hear a cuss,” she answers, but there’s an unspoken question lingering under her gentle teasing. “Besides, ‘predictable’ is just another word for ‘reliable’.”

I put my palm down on her knee as she draws a line of grey ash across her mouth, metaphorically silencing her. I hate how it mars her pretty features, but it has to be done---public displays of mourning are quite different from caste to caste, and if I’m to leave my spire so soon after the death of a fellow seer, my Pearl has to be as demonstrative as me. We are both grieving, after all.

But, for now, we’re still inside, and alone. She can still speak somewhat freely. “That poor gem,” she whispers. “What a terrible way to go.”

I just nod. We were made to float, so for a Sapphire to fall to her death---from the top of her own tower, no less---was almost unheard of. Unthinkable. Unbelievable, even. Why, if you didn’t know better... you’d say she did it on purpose.

My sweet Pearl has always been a bit prone to anxiety, and I see worry twisting at her features. “Did she suffer?”

 **Yes**. “No. She shattered instantly. It was a long fall, but she was at peace.”

I hear the question forming on her lips just as she opens them to speak, so I touch the hem of her skirt and pat her thigh through the thin fabric. “It was simply a terrible, tragic accident, Pearl, and that’s how we will remember it.”

She’s still not satisfied. Why can’t she be satisfied? Why does she always see through me? “What if she did it because some... something was... wr-wrong with her?”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say primly.

Oh, she’s doing it again. She’s curling her legs up against her body, knees to her chest, hugging herself to try to calm the distress she was trying so hard to keep out of her voice, her eyes. “Your Clarity.... have you heard of the renegade Pearl?”

I laugh. I actually laugh! This time that unnerving spark of surprise didn’t strike so much fear into me. “It’s so adorable you believe in those tall tales!”

She pouts. I know she’s trying to look sullen, but in my eye it just makes her look even more lovable. “It’s _true,_ ” she grumbles. “The other Pearls say it’s some sort of... infection. Something got into her gem, and it... _did_ something to her.” She suffers a head-to-toe quake, looking away. “It changed her. Changed her permanently. She’ll never be the same...”

I want to kiss her cheek, but I made her a promise---a quiet, wordless kind of promise---many years ago that I would not cross certain boundaries. “You shouldn’t concern yourself with such nonsense, Pearl. There is no such thing as an ‘infection’ that can change a gem. You will always be a gracious assistant, and I will always see the fut---”

_**Toc-toc-toc!** _

With a cry I jump to my feet, right up on my tiptoes. Instantly Pearl is on me, one spindly arm around my waist to keep me from swooning backwards. 

“The door,” she hisses into my ear. “Someone’s at the door!”

I had no idea she’d clutch me so tightly.

It’s... blue? Blue. I see blue. A diaphanous tutu. A silly hairdo. A constant look of silent, restrained horror on her face... Oh, yes... now I can see her more clearly.

“I’m not presentable! Please don’t come in!” I call out to Blue Diamond’s Pearl, still clinging to my own. “You can tell Our Great Diamonds that I will be there shortly.”

I hear her mumble a response, but not the exact words. It doesn’t matter---she’s already padding her way down the hall. When her muffled footsteps finally fade away, I bring my hand down to the one currently squeezing my midriff. We’re both shaking.

“It’s getting worse.”

I crane my head around so I can look her in the eye.

“...Isn’t it,” she says in a tone that bears no question.

I press my lips together, but I still manage to force a smirk. “I predict that you will receive a rather nasty pinch if you keep being cheeky!”

Oh no. There are tears in her eyes, even as she’s trying to blink them away. “Your predictions are getting later and later, your Clarity.”

And, _stars above_ , she grabs my hand as I reach up to nip her cheek between my fingers. She grabs it _hard_.

“You didn’t see that coming.” Coming from anyone else, that would have sounded like an accusation. From her, it just sounds like genuine concern... or fear.

“I will be fine for the time being,” I say, my feeble attempt to comfort her.

“For the time being. For the time being!” She’s getting hysterical. “And what happens after that, Padparadscha? What happens when you get found out?!”

A little niggling part of my mind tells me that I should scold her for addressing me so informally. But I don’t... I can’t, not now. 

After a moment, I fold my legs beneath me, tucking my skirts around me. “Pearl. Come, sit.”

She does.

She doesn’t want to hear this.

But I have to say it.

“Star Sapphire, she... did it on purpose.” I take a moment to compose myself, since I can feel that lump rising in my throat. “She knew she was losing her vision. She just couldn’t bear living without the one thing that makes us worthwhile.”

Oh, my poor Pearl. She’s so close to sobbing. “Wh-what is it?” she pushes out through her sniffles. “What’s infecting the Sapphires?”

If I start crying now, I’ll make a mess of the carefully-placed ash on my face, so I swallow over and over until I can speak again. I have to say this now, in one of my few remaining moments of lucidity. “I don’t know what ‘it’ is, Pearl... but I have ‘it’. And, whatever ‘it’ is... ‘it’ _is_ getting worse.”

She wipes her eyes, then her nose. “...Please forgive me.”

I didn’t need future vision to know she’d throw her arms around me, and for once, I return the hug. A moment of close contact between us---so rare. My face up against her hair, I suck in a deep breath, the only way I can actually take in her scent.

“Y-you’ll b-be shattered,” she chokes out as her body trembles against mine. Sometimes she forgets that she’s bigger than me; she’s nearly toppling me over. “They’ll send you t-to the chipper, y-you’ll die, you’ll die, you’ll---”

“No.” I nuzzle a few of her tears from her cheeks, but don’t risk touching my lips to her skin. “No, I won’t. That, at least, I can still predict.”

She pulls back, staring at me with big, bleary eyes. I’ve surprised her.

I hesitate. I haven’t been honest with her. I thought I could spare her, at least until closer to the end; I thought a Pearl wouldn’t be smart enough to figure it out on her own.

I suppose we still surprise each other.

“Be glad you weren’t burdened with the curse of clairvoyance,” I tell her. My voice is so low, so husky, I can barely hear it myself. “The terrible part about seeing the future is the sick, sinking feeling of knowing that this vision may be the last you’ll ever have.”

She still has her palms on my shoulders, and she’s touching me so gently. “Can you still see what will happen to you?”

“Dimly,” I reply. I’m not lying, either. “I... I see myself in a place that’s very... shrouded. It’s dark, and it’s frightening, but... there’s hope down there.” I shuffle forward just enough so that our knees are bumped together. “And I will be very happy.”

“You’ll run away?”

“I’ll run,” I assure her. “I’ll run before they find me out. I promise you that.”

She’s bobbing her head, but there’s just so much trepidation on her face. “And... what of me?”

I bite my lip. As soon as I foresaw Star’s suicide, I had a vision about her Pearl... and it’s not pleasant. Shivering, chained, and naked, standing on the auction block, she will look out into the crowd and shriek in terror when the winning bid goes to a full battalion of rowdy quartzes.

Oh, stars above. That poor Pearl will have one and a half rotations before she follows her former mistress' lead.

“You will not end up a black market pearl, nor will you go to a second-hand shop, nor to an auction,” I say quietly. “I will see to it you are cared for. I will...”  
Here I have to pause, because it’s taking me longer than usual to form a plan in my head. But once it’s there, it feels so solid, so right, that I know I can vow this to her.

“I will give you as a gift to my friend. She will treat you very well.”

Her eyes widen slightly. “Um... which friend, your Clarity?”

I gather her hands in mine, and for just a moment, I quiver when she brushes her thumb over my gem. I hope that whatever ‘it’ is, ‘it’ will not spread from me to her from this simple, sweet contact. “You will be cared for, dear Pearl,” I repeat. “In fact... I predict you will become very, very happy when you begin serving Morganite.”

**Author's Note:**

> And THAT’S why Rhodonite is so protective of Paddy!  
> Okay, so, as a member of the LGBT community, I guess I was a LITTLE heavy-handed with my metaphor about an unstoppable, progressive infection that only affects certain gems. But I couldn’t help peering into her past. Thanks for reading!
> 
> _ETA: A companion piece:[The Price Of Everything; The Value Of Nothing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14748947)_


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